Breaking Point
by lurkingwhump
Summary: Jane might think she's fine, but emotions can be fickle when dealing with loss. S3 finale AU/missing scene. One-shot


A/N: Here's a small missing scene or AU from the s3 finale of Blindspot. Thank you again for my beta for proofreading this and being infinitely patient with my errors.

I felt bad for Jane she never really got to come to grips with losing Roman before passing out. So, I wanted to give her that moment, as Jane. Because as strong as she is, when that realization hits, it's excruciating. It can bring a person to their knees.

As you might guess, it is rather angsty but the muse wants what it wants. Your reviews feed my muse 😊.

All rights belong to MG & Co.

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 **Breaking point**

They had just come home from the NYO, exhausted over the events of the past couple of days. Jane slammed the door shut and reached into her jacket pocket to dig out her keys to drop them on the table, but her fingers caught something else in the pocket. Something made of paper.

Retrieving it, Jane noticed it was the old family photograph Roman had hidden in the barrel of the revolver in their childhood home. She hadn't remembered she still had it. She turned it in her hands, unable to take her eyes off it or to put it away. _"This was Roman's."_

"Jane, "Kurt called out to her softly from somewhere behind her.

She didn't reply, just traced her fingers over the photograph in her hand, looking at the family staring back at her. A reminder of a time long past, when everything had still been normal, maybe even happy. When her parents and Roman had still been alive. " _Now they're all gone. I'm the only one left."_ Jane drew in a shuddering breath and swallowed heavily. The next thing she noticed was Kurt standing in front of her, running his warm hands up and down her arms as he had done earlier in the NYO locker room.

Jane felt Kurt's fingers caress her jaw, urging her to meet his eyes and she leaned into his touch as he cupped her cheek. Looking up, she felt the love reflected in his gaze. He looked at her with such tenderness and worry, that she could feel the compartmentalized walls cracking inside of her.

Kurt's thumb traced her chin as he spoke, his voice barely a whisper "You're allowed to grieve. It's okay to cry."

At his words, Jane's defenses came tumbling down. Tears blurred her vision and she heard a pitiful whimper escape her mouth before Kurt's strong arms pulled her against him gently. She buried her face against his neck, tears starting to trail down her cheeks.

"He's gone," she whimpered, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

Jane felt Kurt tighten his arms around her, holding her close despite his own injuries. He placed a soft kiss in her hair and leaned his cheek into its dark strands.

" _Roman is gone. My brother."_ The realization was starting to sink in properly only now, after a few days, and it only made her cry harder. Jane would never hear his voice again, never see his smile. She remembered the genuine smile he had given her as they had allowed him to relocate from the cell into the safe house.

"Come on," Kurt's voice was gentle as he carefully guided them to the couch and sat down, pulling Jane into him, never relinquishing his hold on her.

Jane pressed her face into Kurt's chest, the tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. She placed her hand against his heart, needing to feel him there, the weight of reality crushing her. As if reading her mind, Kurt covered her hand with his and squeezed it gently.

"Kurt," she called his name in desperation.

He nuzzled her tenderly, speaking in a tone he only used with her. "Shh…I'm here. Shh…I've got you, Jane. I've got you."

Jane's entire body was shaking with the force of her sobs. As she wept, Kurt only squeezed her closer to him.

As the worst of her sobs calmed, Kurt reached over to the table and passed Jane a tissue. She blew her nose but was unable to stop the tears from falling. Kurt brushed his lips across her forehead and moved a tendril of Jane's hair carefully behind her ear. The gentleness of his touch and the love in his eyes almost broke her.

Jane leaned into Kurt, mindful of his injury, and put her cheek against his chest, letting his heartbeat and proximity ease the pain she felt. She was silent for a few minutes, lost in her thoughts and Kurt's tender touches as he held her close. She turned her head and looked up at him, before speaking, her voice barely a whisper "If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still smell his scent. What he smelled like when he hugged me."

Kurt didn't speak, only squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, brushing his thumb against her arm.

Jane buried her head against his chest again and closed her eyes, another gut-wrenching sob escaping her.

"Roman was scared, Kurt….He…he was scared of dying, of being alone," she spluttered between her sobs, struggling to breathe through the crushing feeling engulfing her.

Kurt took Jane's hand and pressed it against his chest again as he cradled her to him with his other arm. "Shhh….breathe. Just breathe. Shh…it's okay," he kept murmuring to her.

"He wasn't alone," Kurt's soft whisper rumbled from his chest as he pressed a kiss into her hair. "You were with him."

Jane sniffled and whispered "It's my fault."

"What? No." Kurt protested.

Her breath hitched again as she spoke. "Yes it is! The tattoos, Sandstorm…it was all my idea. I got Roman involved in this."

"Jane, no." Kurt admonished her softly. "Look at me," he continued as he took her face into his hands.

He gazed at her lovingly and gently wiped away the tears trailing down her cheeks. "This was not your fault. You gave him a chance to change, more than once. _He_ is the one who had you tattooed again, to continue this cat and mouse game with us, and to get Crawford."

Kurt's tone was tender as he leaned his forehead against Jane's. "Please, stop blaming yourself."

She drew in a shuddering breath to slow her heartbeat and looked up at him, seeing the concern in his eyes. Her heart swelled at the love she felt for him. She sniffled and nodded before feeling Kurt's lips press softly against hers.

"I love you, Jane," he murmured into her hair as he pulled her against him and down onto the couch. "I know you're hurting, but you don't have to face this alone. I'm right here."

Taking Kurt's hand, Jane pressed a kiss to his fingers as she settled against his chest.

"Thank you," she whispered sincerely, feeling exhaustion invade her body as she closed her eyes.


End file.
